| ..... |
[03 Mar 2006|09:06am] |
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SO kristen broke up with me..after i went up to her school an surprised her with flowers...yep....fuck girls...
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[27 Dec 2005|09:04pm] |
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Yesterday Jenn came over..I went an got her in the morning and she was at my house all day playing with Bella while i Helped my mom move...yeah my mom left this morning at 6 am...Anyways..i gave jenn her ring an for the first time told her I loved her....we all went out to dinner an I took her in the crossfire...then her parents came an got her...it was amazing...i miss her already...ive seemed to fuck it up though...shes mad at me i can tell....fuck...
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| Please dont tell my secrets here... |
[21 Dec 2005|12:03pm] |
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So right now Im at my Voc..but see well 6 people showed up..how sweet is that....so we cant do anything and i have no way of getting home which sux cuz he was going to let us go....Yeah...so hopefully i will be hanging out with my jennifer on frida yan picking her up from school...i miss the girl hardcore!I spent last sunday with her..allday..it was awsome except when i got lost on the way to her house an ended up in dearborn heights when i should have been in westland...dont ask me how i managed that one...i bought one of her christmas presents...im waiting for the other one to come in the mail an i do believe im buying her a tinkerbell comforter she wants after christmas when i get some money...i care about her a great deal an i dont think she knows that...she got me the most awsomest necklace witha tennis raquet an tennis ball on it..it was amazing...well i think im going to go watch a movie or get on myspace...he put school of rock on for us to watch....
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[17 Dec 2005|01:01am] |
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I had to work tonight..that freakin sucked but you know what sucked even more today at school when some lame ass fucking jock decided hed slam into the side of my car an then rearend me ON PURPOSE!!!Yeah fuck that asshole an yesterday getting in trouble for my lesbian shirt...I fucking hate people..I hate how they have to be assholes an I really hate it when they dont answer their phones....im out..
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| Thanksgiving... |
[24 Nov 2005|04:52pm] |
Hmm today the lions lost misrably..haha...tuesday was pretty damn amusing i went ot thanksgiving dinner at my girlfriends house since they left today for new york till sunday...freakin depressing i wont see her till sunday....ahh she better get me something good haha...my mom made the final desicion that we will be moving in juanry over christmas break..i need to start boxing my shiznit up....haha love that word....hmmm i wonder what song she heard an who shes missing..well i wonder what her journals about....i know it probably isnt me..hmmm...im counting kids...1 month an 5 days till were supposed to leave...fucka michigan...i hope kristen liked her ipod an her other 200 dollars wortha sit i bought her...happybirthday..love you!
A song to her..she knows who she is....
From a distance, I hear them call.
For you and for me,
for everything they see.
On a mission, losing their minds.
For love and for hate,
for freedom they can’t take.
Your decision, you’d go along.
And give up your life to fight
for what went wrong.
And you know that I know
that you won’t come back again.
And you know that I’d go
but I’d lose myself in it.
I’ll wait into the summer and into the winter,
I’ll wait for you, I will.
I’ll hold onto you tightly and pray for you nightly.
I’ll wait for you.
In the twilight, hours pass slow.
The minutes roll by,
as summer turns to snow.
I decided, I’m not that strong.
I couldn’t go out and fight
what I know is wrong.
And you know that I know
that you won’t come back again.
And you know that I’d go
but I’d lose my faith in it.
I’ll wait into the summer and into the winter,
I’ll wait for you, I will.
I’ll hold onto you tightly and pray for you nightly.
I’ll wait for you.
I’ll wait into the summer and into the winter,
I’ll wait for you, I will.
I’ll hold onto you tightly and pray for you nightly.
I’ll wait for you, I will
I’ll wait into the summer and into the winter,
I’ll wait for you.
From a distance, I hear them call.
For you and for me,
for everything they see.
On a mission, losing their minds.
For love and for hate,
for freedom...
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| Nothing competes with heaven |
[18 Nov 2005|10:56pm] |
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Today I got a red rose from Angie..it made me giggle..she bought me pizza...awww carlee's gotta girlfriend....miss natalie...I got a ticket today for 15 over...my bad...im going to see kristen tomorrow...i bought her a ipod go me...oh an ill be dropping the 333 other dollars i have on her tomm at the mall an dinner an her dozen roses an ciggerates...im so adorable sometimes.....aww shit here I go...IM moving permantly to florida right after christmas..over christmas break actually with my mom...it shall be amusing shes going to help me live my dream...start my own coffeeshop/bookstore an help me go to art school...i could make a killing...i cant wait...but i dont want to leave everyone behind..somethings are better left that way though...i just wish me an her could mend hings before i left..i want to see her one last time....
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| Broken Glass All Around... |
[09 Nov 2005|12:04am] |
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Life has been pretty shitty latly...its been lonel empty an hallow...shes with him an i still cant help but think about her everyday when i wake up an every night before i go to sleep...i wonder why i had to be an asshole like i was an dwhat itd be like if she did still care/love me...i know that those feelings are gone an shall never return..ever...i work way to much usually 30 to 40 hrs a week..last week i worked 36 hours...i smoke to much and i dunno lately i havnt been able to trust anyone...i suspect i wnt either for sometime...fuck...i feel i need to tell everyone something but i cant bring myself to admit to it just yet...i dunno the timing isnt right or something but its something my friends deserve to know...well...im out
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| To You.... |
[31 Oct 2005|06:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Candy Shop - 50 cent |
] |
Oh why can't I be what you need?
A new improved version of me.
But I'm nothing so good
no, I'm nothing...
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence, of love, and of sorrow.
I beg for just one more tomorrow!
Where you'd hold me down, fold me in
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins.
I'd break in two over you
I'd break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life!
But you don't see me. You dont.
Here I'm pinned between darkness and light,
bleached and blinded by these nights.
Where I'm tossing and tortured till dawn
by you, visions of you, then you're gone.
The shock bleeds the red from my face,
when i hear someone's taken my place.
How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?
When all, all that i did was for you...
I'd break in two over you
I'd break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life!
But you dont see me. You don't.
I'd break in two over you
I'd break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life!
But you don't see me. You don't.
I'd break in two over you,
I'd break in two over you! Over you
I'd break in two,
I would break in two for you.
Now you see me, now you don't.
Now you need me, now you don't.
Memories of life at its best...forever in my heart...shes forever gone...
When she loved me still...
7-08-2005
<3 love love love love love love love love love love
(((This is Elise, Carlee's steamin hott girlfriend...AGAIN. The last post thingy I made got deleted, and she wants a new one, so I'm being a good girl, and redoing it. It won't be as perfect as the old one, but I am deffinately gonna try my best.)))
Carlee,
I'm sorry the last post got deleted, lol. Well, you're the most amazing person ever, and you're all mine. You have no idea how proud that makes me to say that. I miss being with you, even though I was with you last week. When I'm lying next to you, in your arms, I feel a sense of home I don't think I could experience anywhere else. I can't wait to see you this upcoming Wednesday. I wanna hold you, and take away all your nightmares while you're sleepin. I miss your kissies too, cuz they're so soft and so gentle. I love doing little things like this to make you smile for the rest of today, and perhaps even tomorrow as well. You're the most beautiful person, inside and out. I could honestly look into your eyes forever n ever and never get tired of them, they're amazing. I'm here for you no matter what my dear, through thick and thin. Almost 4 months, and counting.
I love you soo much baby, even when I'm mad :)
Love always, your baby,
Elise
Love at it's best.
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| .... |
[29 Oct 2005|06:13pm] |
yep....
So latly Ive just felt blah....im constantly out of i and i just feel like a zombie....i feel like im in some bad random dream and i need ot wake up...i feel like my friends are pulling away from me or im pulling away from them..not sure which one it is yet btu ehh...ha an aubrays dumb an talked to th wrong person she didnt talk to jade...yeah cuz i actually talked to jade an sat right next to her...god i feel like the biggest ass...
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| Every day that passes...I get closer to seeing you again...i miss you... |
[17 Oct 2005|10:16pm] |
Hey, did you hear about my mistakes?
I never thought you'd see me looking down
Even though I made a mess of everything you made for me
All along you were there
Waiting like you said you always would
Yeah, you said you always would
We don't have to wait for anything at all now that I've learned
This fool will never learn a thing
And I can't believe that you would send your love to me now
Even though I don't deserve it
Forgive me, but I can't be everything you deserve
And I know it's too late to crawl back to you tonight
But there's a few things that I just need you to know
Like the way I felt when we were close
And how the stars explode every time you are near
But all along you were there
Waiting like you said you always would
Yeah, you said you always would
I am so far, I couldn't see
But you made every day so sweet
All along you were there
Waiting by my side
Yeah, you love me even though I don't deserve it
You love me even though I don't deserve it
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[10 Oct 2005|05:28pm] |
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Last night was pretty sweet...talked to jenny and some cool kid si go to school with...im watching triple X right now and its a pretty awsome movie...today at school was pretty good...i got a sweet krispie cream donuts hat an poster haha....and i dont know my day just went by splendidly except the fact roberet wasnt there an me an kristina are fighting over something reatreded....afer skool i made me daddy take me an aubray to the mall an mcdonalds since were both fat kids an she wanted food an she ended up filling out an application at american eagle...she was so flirtig with the guy that was working there...And for Your information an ou kow who you are...im not trying to replace you in any type of way its impossible to do that...i love ou so very much i couldnt do it....i have no real explantion for some of what i said and have done but i will be forever sorrysorry i fucked up the best thing going in my life except tennis an hell i fucked that up too...im jus a big fuck up i suppose...and ill live in regret my entire life...maybeone day you will see this an decide that you love me an want to be with me and maybe ima fool for hoping itll happen but ill be here whenever you need and want me...cuz ou are so beautiful and you are a shining star in the big dark sks of my life..I am tring to meet new people yes because im sick of all thepeople around me...you yourslf have moved on an well i know i wont move on completly ill always like you an wanna be with you...you dont feel thesame an im tring to coap..like i said im sorry about everything..dont forget...even though at times its hard for you to see an me to show...i do love you an i think about you everyday...
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[09 Oct 2005|02:59am] |
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I had to work today or rather yesterday...i havent done anything this weekend but sit here and watch tv...but really i aint complaining...everyone is pissing me off anyways....im so cold though i think my whole bodys numb...ive been thinking about her constantly..i know i shouldnt be but i am...cant help that i love her...but shes replaced me for good...
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[07 Oct 2005|03:23pm] |
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I fucking hate everything an everyone right now...yeah that means you...that means every single person....i dont have a friend who hasnt let me down or hurt me in a way so im tlaking to all of you....Im so sick of all the lies and all the bullshit...i broke my fucking leg and so pretty much ill be stranded at home but it doesnt bother e in the least bit cuz i dont want to see any of you fucking bastards....I dont know how i could possibly make itthrough tonight...ive just been ready to die since i found out sunday night about him....she thinks she didnt hurt me but she did....if she truelly cared she wouldnt have doe what she did...and she had teh balls to yell at me about kissing some girl when she was fucking him the whole time....tell me am i so stupid to care??Am I??everyone tells me that i am....Everyone thnks im fine but im not and does she even care?No she doesnt shes to worried about being with him...i dont know how she could possibly think im ok with it an that im happy about it cuz im not im misrable...i cant bear to talk to her while shes with him...it hurts to bad and she doesnt even relize it...she has no idea how i feel...She doesnt even know....She thinks she just waited for nothing when in all reality i was going to ask her back out i wanted it to be the perfect timing an all romantic an shit...fuck i wanted to give her a ring an do it all cute...now that it wont happen i think i can reveal my plans now...The day bfore i was to go up there (friday) I was going to have a dozen redroses sent to her school an her called down to the office to get them...Saturday i was goig to go up there and take her to dinner an go to the dance with her...i had the most beautiful most xpensive awomest corsage ever picked out and ordered....and sunday i had 5 dozen roses ordered to put in her room before she woke up an rose petals to put al round her and i was going to bring her breakfest in bed an then when she woke up i was going to get down on one knee and ask her to go back out with me.....cute eh??Adorable arnt i??/But no it was fucking ruined because of a asshole guy...i fucking hate guys i hope they all even him burn in hell....Fuck everyone im going to take some pills an get happy hopefully...and this time i hope i never wake up...
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[03 Oct 2005|06:54pm] |
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Last night deffantly wasnt good for me at all...i almost put my car head on into a train on purpose....sorry for everyone i wasnt at school today...i took a bunch of sleeping pills....i puked half of them up tho and unfortuantly im still here...i jus slept all day...me an elise got into a huge fight last night an i jus wanted to dissapear from the face of the earth when she said she wanted to be with bryan..so thats what i did...i tryed to disappear...
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[19 Sep 2005|09:43pm] |
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Does she even notice me anymore??Or is she to busy with him,the most wonderful person in her life,I wish i could be wonderful...
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[17 Sep 2005|05:35pm] |
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IM leaving ang going to New Yorl in november....enough said....
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| To you Elise.... |
[24 Aug 2005|12:08pm] |
| [ |
music |
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daphne loves derby |
] |
"Closing Down The Pattern Department"
Hey, did you hear about my mistakes?
I never thought you'd see me looking down
Even though I made a mess of everything you made for me
All along you were there
Waiting like you said you always would
Yeah, you said you always would
We don't have to wait for anything at all now that I've learned
This fool will never learn a thing
And I can't believe that you would send your love to me now
Even though I don't deserve it
Forgive me, but I can't be everything you deserve
And I know it's too late to crawl back to you tonight
But there's a few things that I just need you to know
Like the way I felt when we were close
And how the stars explode every time you are near
But all along you were there
Waiting like you said you always would
Yeah, you said you always would
I am so far, I couldn't see
But you made every day so sweet
All along you were there
Waiting by my side
Yeah, you love me even though I don't deserve it
You love me even though I don't deserve it
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[23 Aug 2005|04:51pm] |
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So...I've been pretty busy lately....my mom took me school shopping i ended up with a pair of phat pharms and some ghetto ass clothing...its great...last saturday me an jessica played doules in the lincoln park open an we eneded up with a rain delay so we went to the thrift store whre i eneded up getting her to buy me a 100% vinyl rain jacket...its a micheal jackson look alike...ive been prettty muchlivng at her house for the last week or so....i just dont feel like going home i guess...i made the varsity tennis team..woohooo...we had a tournement today at allen park/lincoln park....i miss her....shes the reason i came home todya was to talk to her and well shes not even here...:-( i dont have my cell so i dont know her cell number to call her...i cant think of it right now cuz i have a bad headache and i jus wanna cry i miss her so bad an wanna talk to her so badly...grrr.....bekki never showed up monday like i knew she wouldnt...didnt surprise me one bit....oh it doesnt matter...im tired im taking a nap...later....I LOVE YOU
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| READ ME READ ME! |
[19 Aug 2005|12:25pm] |
IM PLAYING IN THE LINCOLN PARK OPEN THIS WEEKEND AND YOU ALL SHOUDL COME WATCH ME PLAY...ILL BE WEARING MY TENNIS DRESS AND IM PLAYING DOUBLES IN THE 18YR OLD DIVISION...ITS AT LINCOLN PARK HIGH SCHOOL AN IM PLAYING AT 11 AM TOMM MORNING.....SO YOU ALL SHOUD COME!
XOXO
CARLEE
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